The Skool Paper
by Pap3r
Summary: The skool has begun a skool paper, and Zim and Dib are competing to prove the other an alien, and a live-chicken-eater. (The last chapter is up!)
1. The Announcement

The Skool Paper  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of JV's characters, and if I did, Zim would be MINE! *huggles Zimmy*  
  
Note: This story was originally my friend Teri's idea, we just kept adding on, and she said I should write it. So the credit for most of the ideas in this story goes to Teri, and the credit for writing it goes to me.......  
  
Chapter 1  
  
The Announcement  
  
Dib walked into Ms.Bitters' classroom, late once again. Luckily for him, Ms.Bitters was busy talking to the principal about something that he had called about the day before.  
  
He sat down, waiting for the morning announcements. Someone threw a paper plane into his head, but he ignored it. The rest of the class was jumping around on desks, playing video games they had snuck into the skool, eating, writing on the chalkboard, or doing something that Ms.Bitters would obviously kill them for doing. Zim sat at his desk chewing on some Irken bubble gum.  
  
A few minutes later, the announcements came on, followed by the arrival of Ms.Bitters to the classroom.  
  
"Children," Ms.Bitters said. "The skool is going to be starting a horrible skool newspaper. Anyone who wants to help, write down your name and the job you'd like on this piece of paper." She help up a lined paper that was split in two sections by a line, one section labeled "Name", the other labeled "Desired Job".  
  
Dib looked at the paper. He knew right when Ms.Bitters had said "skool paper" that he wanted to be partially in charge of the news articles and photos. That way, he'd be able to make an article on how Zim's an alien! 'What a perfect opportunity," he thought.  
  
Zim, on the other hand, had no aspect of joining the newspaper crew. He doesn't have time for such revolting things. He's got better things to do, anyway....like fixing GIR. Zim thought about this and stared blankly, thinking what havoc GIR might be causing back at the base right now.  
  
The screech of chalk knocked both Zim and Dib back to their senses, and they started copying down the math problems Ms.Bitters was writing on the board.  
  
-- --  
  
The bell rang, announcing the end of the skool day. Nearly the whole class ran up to the sign-up sheet for the newspaper crew. Dib was last in line.  
  
Zim started walking out the door. "Hey, Zim!" He turned around. Dib was smiling evilly at him. "What, human STINK?!" Zim yelled at him.  
  
"Aren't you going to join the newspaper council?," Dib asked, still smiling.  
  
"Wh...why would I join your rediculous little writing group?!" Zim replied.  
  
"Oh, I don't know..." Dib said suspiciously. "I just thought you'd join to prove that you're a normal human. I mean, most normal kids LIKE writing and reporting stuff for newspapers. They think it's fun."  
  
Zim took a minute to think this over. "Fine! I'll join your little group!" he stated, getting in line behind Dib.  
  
After the rest of the class had filled out their names and desired jobs, Dib walked up to the paper. He wrote down 'Dib' under the name section, and he wrote in 'Articles and Photos' under the desired job section. He then walked a few steps away, giving Zim room to fill out the sheet.  
  
Zim walked up to the paper, writing in 'ZIM!!' under the names, and filling out, under desired job, the same occupations as Dib had chosen. When he finished, he turned to Dib and smiled evilly. He had a plan.  
  
  
  
A/N: Soooooooo that was the first chapter...If you liked it please review. I'll be writing the 2nd chapter soon, when I have the time to write it and then type it...In the meantime, if you're on Neopets, you can Neomail me(invader_zea), or you can just e-mail me if ya want.... 


	2. The Enemies' Plans

Disclaimer: I still don't own Zim. X|  
  
A/N: Woo! 2nd chapter! More to come after this, I'm only half way done! ;)  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The Enemies' Plans  
  
Zim walked into his home, fifteen minutes after paying a visit to the town General Store, where he had picked up a very special camera:  
  
The Photoatiser 20 Billion: So capable of taking perfectly centered pictures, a monkey could use it with ease. Complete with photo-fuser software, enabling one to combine two photos into one completely realistic one.  
  
Zim giggled with glee. He planned to make Dib look like a fool in the newspaper so everyone would hate him...more...  
  
"GIR!" Zim called out to his robot through the seemingly empty house. No response. 'Where could that annoying little robot have gotten to?' Zim wondered. He looked around...  
  
"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Zim screamed. He spun around, only to find GIR standing there, eating ice cream, an idiotic grin on his face.  
  
"DON'T DO THAT!" Zim yelled, making GIR smile even more.  
  
"Okey-Dokey!" he said, taking a lick of his ice cream.  
  
"Ok..." Zim said. "Well, since that's settled, I'm going down to the lab. Stay up here and...watch TV...or something..." He walked off, leaving GIR alone in the living room.  
  
The little robot watched Zim until he had plummeted down the garbage bin. He then turned to the blank TV screen and smiled.  
  
"YEEHEEHEE!!" he screamed, grabbing the remote and turning on the TV just as the Scary Monkey Show started. He ran and sat on the couch.  
  
"WOO!" he yelled. He then took another lick of his ice cream and it fell to the floor.  
  
(A/N: Oh no!)  
  
Tears swelled up in GIR's eyes, and he ran out the door, screaming. -- -- Meanwhile, Zim was down in the lab, working with some photos. He had plugged the Photoatiser 20 Billion into his surveillance cameras and taken a picture of Dib standing, head facing up, about to eat a carrot. Zim had then taken a picture of a chicken that he had tied upside down by its feet. He was now busy fusing parts of the two photos together... -- -- Back at Dib's house, Dib was in his room, collecting the photos he had of Zim without his disguise on. He was busy trying to pick the best one, when Professor Membrane came into the room.  
  
"Soooo..." he said. "What are you up to now, son?"  
  
"The skool is starting a skool newspaper, and I applied for the news articles and photos. I'm going to write an article about Zim, and I'll include photographic evidence! Then the whole skool will HAVE to believe me that Zim's an alien!" Dib replied, smiling triumphantly at his great idea.  
  
"Oookay..." Professor Membrane said. "Well, hurry up, now, we're having dinner in five minutes!" he said, walking out of the room.  
  
Dib picked up a photo of Zim in his voot runner. "This'll prove it," he said, putting the photo on his desk and heading downstairs.  
  
  
  
A/N: Yay! I typed the 2nd chapter! Now I must write the 3rd...I'm half-way done! 


	3. Mobs and Noodle Soup

Disclaimer: STILL don't own Zim...  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Mobs and Noodle Soup  
  
The next day at skool, Ms.Bitters announced who would do what for the newspaper. Most of the class got jobs that they didn't apply for and didn't want. Zim and Dib, however, were each partially in charge of the articles and photos, which were the jobs they'd requested.  
  
Zim shot an evil look at Dib. He had an article all planned out, and he had the perfect photo to go with it. He lightly touched the picture he had hidden in his desk. It was a photo he had made with the photofuser software of Dib eating a live chicken. Zim giggled and returned to his math paper. -- -- Dib looked out the window sadly. He hoped this would make people believe him. He had the idea for his article: Put in the picture of Zim, and write about all the things that prove that he's an alien. Simple and effective. 'I just hope they listen to me this time...' he thought, looking back at the picture of Zim he held in his hand.  
  
(A/N: That last line made this sound like a ZADR fic....eeeeek....oO) -- -- In a week, the newspaper was ready to be published. Zim and Dib handed their articles and photos to Zita, who was in charge of putting the whole paper together. She sighed, knowing Dib's article was going to have to do with the paranormal, and walked away. Zim and Dib glared at each other, and walked out of the skool to go home. Neither of them could wait till tomorrow, when the newspaper's first issue would be printed and handed out to the whole skool. -- -- By the next afternoon, all the papers had been handed out. Dib was sitting with Gaz having lunch, as usual, and reading over his article triumphantly.  
  
"I think I really did a good job on this, Gaz! I bet they're all stalking Zim right now..." he said. 'I just hope THAT'S the reason why no one else is at lunch...' he thought hopefully, looking around the deserted cafeteria. -- -- Meanwhile, while the teachers were down in the faculty room eating lunch, all of the kids in the skool had crowded into the hallways. A plan had gone around. A plan by Zim.  
  
"Now WHAT'RE WE GONNA DO?!" he yelled through the hallway to the other students.  
  
"PUT DIB IN THE COOK'S POT OF SOUP FOR BEIN' REALLY CRAZY AND EATIN' LIVE CHICKEN!" they all called back.  
  
"GOOD! Now let's gooooooooo!!"  
  
They stormed through the hallways towards the cafeteria, chanting "Dib noodle soup!" as they went, with Zim in the lead.  
  
(A/N: Instead of "Chicken noodle soup", get it? 'Cause Dib was eatin' live chicken in the picture!) -- -- Back in the cafeteria, Gaz was kicking Dib repeatedly for talking to her while she was playing her GameSlave.  
  
"OW! HEY! QUIT IT! I'M SORRY, OK?!" Dib wailed.  
  
Surprisingly, Gaz stopped. "Ok...as long as you NEVER INTERRUPT MY GAMES AGAIN!!" she yelled, kicking him one last time. She then un-paused her game and started to play again. Then the cafeteria doors swung open...  
  
  
  
A/N: Yay! I finally finished the 3rd chapter...4th soon to come! ^^ 


	4. Attacks and Smelly Basement Rats

Disclaimer: God! Haven't you NOTICED that Zim ISN'T my creation? He's ©Jhonen Vasquez, k???  
  
A/N: I AM SOOOOOOOOO SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG! First it took me a while to start writing the chapter, then I kept putting off typing it...I'm finally doing it because Teri's mad at me for something, and I hope this'll help...Hope ya like! (By the way, the formatting has kinda stinked on this because my writing program is confusing, and for some reason I can't save my documents in HTML form, so there's no bold, underlining, or italics...)  
  
Chapter 4 (last chapter)  
  
Attacks and Smelly Basement Rats  
  
"CHAARGE!"  
  
All of the kids that had been packed up in the hallways charged at the single table where Dib and Gaz sat. While Dib sat there looking bewildered, Gaz took her lunch tray and walked over to the condiment stand, not caring what the other children would do to her older brother.  
  
"Get him!" Zim yelled out, causing the mob of kids to run up and pick up the whole table.  
  
"What's going on?!" Dib yelled, wanting an explanation for the mob of children that was carrying his table.  
  
"We're tired of you always talking about aliens!" Zim yelled.  
  
"Yeah!" said Sara. "And only crazy kids like you would eat live chicken!"  
  
The kids slowly lowered Dib's table to the center of the group.  
  
"NOW YOU MUST SUFFER!" they all yelled, some spraying foamy string in his hair, others pouring glue on his coat and putting feathers all over him, and still others causing more damage to the confused kid with the big head.  
  
"STOP!" he yelled, finally breaking free of the torture of his peers. He ran towards the only visible way of escape, an air vent by the corner in the floor. Suddenly, he was tackled...  
  
"Not so fast, puny stink_creature!" Zim said, pinning Dib to the ground. He pulled out a live chicken from his I.D. Pak and stuffed it in Dib's mouth, causing him to swallow it whole.  
  
(A/N: How the heck could he do that? God, this fic just gets weirder and weirder...)  
  
_ _ _  
  
After skool, Zim and Dib were sitting in their classroom, waiting for Ms.Bitters to think up their punishment.  
  
She finally decided, turning to them. "You will both serve one detention. You" she said, pointing to Dib, "for eating a live chicken within skool boundaries, and you" she said, now facing Zim, "for making the whole skool into an angry mob of children!" She glared at them both, picking them up by the back of their collars.  
  
"Hah!" Zim bursted out. "Zim is not afraid of this pathetic human thing you call 'detention'! It is impossible to harm the great and all_powerfull Zim with your pathetic skool procedures!"  
  
"Oh, really?" Ms.Bitters said, carrying them to the skool's basement door.  
  
"The basement?" Dib asked. "What are we doing here?"  
  
"You will serve your detention in here" she replied, putting them down and handing them each a piece of chalk. "Dib, you will write this on one of the chalk boards down there 10,000 times," she said, handing Dib a slip of paper with "I will not eat live chickens within skool boundaries" written on it. "Zim, you will do the same with this," she said, giving Zim a piece of paper, this time saying "I will not organize mobs in the skool".  
  
"But I thought there were no lights in the skool basement?" Dib said. Ms.Bitters handed him a flashlight. "There's your light," she said, throwing them both down the basement stairs and shutting the door after them.  
  
_ _ _  
  
Down in the basement, Dib was hitting the flashlight, trying to get it to work. "Hey!" he said, taking off the battery opening and turning the flashlight upside_down. "There's no batteries in this thing!"  
  
"Shut your sniveling mouth, Dib_worm, and help me find the chalk board!"  
  
_ _ _  
  
Out in the hallway, yells echoed from Zim and Dib as they tried to navigate through the pitch_black basement. Suddenly, Dib screamed "RAT!!" and the sounds of hundreds of rats filing into the basement could be heard...  
  
A/N: So how was it? Did you like it? Hate it? o_O Yes, kinda cruddy ending, and put together quite randomly, but I think it was quite good for an almost_14_year_old! Yesh, me will be 14 in December...Please, no flames! *cowers in corner* 


End file.
